An Apology

"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been."
~ Relient K.


Life is messy - human beings are messy. 
I hold myself and the things I do to high standards (consciously and unconsciously) and I don't always make it there.  The past couple of weeks have been one of those times.  I do a lot of things in my life and though I enjoy it all, sometimes it gets overwhelming.  I don't always let that stress and pressure off in positive ways... lately, I've let my negative emotions out in unkind ways on a lot of the people in my life that I hold close to my heart: my friends.  A lot of the time, I didn't even realize it was happening.  For that, I am truly and deeply sorry to anyone I may have, or have ever, hurt because of things I said or did or even through the attitude I might have given off.

If you know me at all, you know that my truest self is not that person.  I want to be the friend that others can come to, depend on, trust, and feel happy and cared for when they are around me.  I hope that that is who I am to you most of the time.  But, I'm human, too.  I screw up.  I'm incredibly thankful for the moments and friends who hold up a mirror for me and remind me, "This isn't who you are."  And I'm especially grateful when you forgive me for it.  You don't have to, but you do anyway - that is the kind of love I always want to give back to you, too.  I'm sorry, and thank you.

I think we're all in need of the break in the week ahead - I'm definitely in need of some time away, to be quiet, reflect, and rejuvenate.  And I'll be looking forward to coming back and making the last part of this school year a great one with all of you - my wonderful, talented, and amazing friends.  :)

New mantra:
Choose JOY over misery,
Choose KINDNESS over malice,
Choose COURAGE over fear,
Choose LOVE over hate.

So, joy, kindness, courage, and love to you all,
<3 Erin

P.S. Just because it's a good song --
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (acoustic)
and this one because it's one of my favorite songs --
Up & Up
:)

Things that Really Matter

... it is too easy to forget how big the world is.

http://rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/29/10542498-on-assignment-ann-currys-photographs-from-sudans-nuba-mountains

A Girl Who Reads

A friend posted this on facebook -- both a wonderful message and wonderfully written!  :) 
(pick me, pick me!)

Date a Girl Who Reads.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Inspirational Reminder...

"He loves us because we are a beautiful creation of His and we are beautiful because He loves us, and no one can take that away from us. People can gossip about us or steal from us. They can ignore us or be unkind to us but they can never, never take from us what really matters- the beauty and love that come from God. How freeing. How freeing. What matters most can never be taken or stolen."

From: http://soltsisters.blogspot.com/2011/11/do-i-love-you-because-youre-beautifulor.html

:)

Well it's been a long...

month... or five - eh, more like 3, so it's not too bad... haha.  I'm sad to have to have given up on the 365 project, but as a student (at least through this year) it just hasn't been feasible... so much to do and not enough time to do it!  But I've (mostly) been having so much fun and making a point to take pictures, so it wasn't all worthless.  :)

Let's see, September... Steph and I are in South Hall this year, which is on-campus apartment style housing.  We've each got our own small room, a shared bathroom, a kitchenette, and a considerably spacious living/common room.  We're having a grand old time cooking for ourselves and hosting study parties for various classes. 



From when we got our "wands" for conducting!

 

Hosting family dinner!

This semester I am taking:
Geoscience 103 - Earthquakes, Volcanoes, and other Geologic Hazards
Conducting 2
Music History 2 - 18th/19th Century
Diction (learning how to pronounce languages correctly)
Analyzing Music

From my Geoscience Saturday field trip to Mt. Rainier... my first ever college field trip!

My performance based classes are:
Voice lessons... my junior recital with Stephanie is this April!!
Opera Workshop - performing scenes and the one-act opera Gianni Schicchi by Puccini
Choir of the West   :)
 

Soprano section at COW retreat!  Yay choir!

I spent the first half of the semester as the Music Director for Night of Musical Theatre (NOMT), which is an annual student-produced project in the Theatre department that showcases an array of musical theatre songs.  It's hard to explain beyond that, but this year we (myself, director Jack Sorensen, and choreographer Jill Heinecke) put together a loose plot based around the idea of love/the way we connect memories of love with music; we called it "Elaborate Lives" and, if I do say so myself, it was beautiful.  :)  It was a crazy up-and-down process, full of learning for the three of us, as well as our amazing cast.  I was worried throughout about putting together and successfully leading the band for the show, but I chose the right people and the music was on FIRE every night!  Some of our favorite songs included "The Club" from In the Heights, "December 1963" from Jersey Boys, and "He Lives in You" (changed to "They Live in You" for show purposes) from The Lion King.  It was fun to rock out and I got a lot of practice conducting... :)

Stretches at NOMT auditions!  The one part I missed this year was not getting to dance...

I am also in HERmonic again!  I finally feel like I'm really a part of the group and I'm happy to say that our rehearsals are such a haven for me this year.  Especially when NOMT was getting frustrating.  The audition process was eye-opening and intense.  We had about 40 or more auditionees and only 4 spots we were looking to fill.  It was a long day, but we did it!  The new ladies are all super talented and bring great individual dynamics to the group and the group as a whole is really fulfilling our "sassy, brassy, and classy" motto!  Musically, we have made leaps and bounds in just these first couple of months and our new outfits are sparkly and freaking awesome!!  We are bringing the a'capella lady-power to PLU this year like never before!

Singing "And So it Goes" at our first non-PLU concert of the year - yeah sequins!  That's right!

Even though opera is technically a class, it has taken a lot of extra-curricular work and, of course, our performances have been in the evenings.  We had opening night this Thursday (November 10th) and it is a FANTASTIC show!!  The first half is called "Grand Moments in Opera" and features six well-known operatic (and one "musical theatre") scenes from shows including Falstaff (which is the one I'm in), Nabucco (chorus of the Hebrew Slaves), Lakme (The Flower Duet, which Steph is in and it is beautiful!), and Sweeny Todd (which is actually a weird sort of musical theatre-opera hybrid...).  The second half of the night is a performance of Puccini's Gianni Schicchi.  Several of the roles are double cast, creating a fairly different show for each of the four nights.  The plot of the opera is based on a briefly mentioned character in Dante's Inferno, a man (Gianni Schicchi) who takes advantage of a greedy family, rewriting their deceased relative's will to benefit them and ultimately himself.  I am singing the role of Lauretta, Schicchi's daughter, who sings the aria O mio babbino caro.  I have had soooooo much fun with this show - the casts for both the scenes and opera are made up of incredibly talented people and it has been amazing to both share this experience with my good friends in the music department and make new ones because of it.  :)  We've just got two nights left!  Then I don't know what I am going to do with all of my free time... haha...


The Thursday/Saturday cast is sad about having to lose their hands if they get caught...



Friday/Sunday cast reacting to Buoso Donati's will...  *

I am able to somehow find free time though!!  And spending time with my amazing friends has been another highlight of the year.  Steph, Lauren, Kelvin, and I are fully embracing our "family" status (established on last year's Europe tour) and make it a point to do things together, like going to the Puyallup Fair.  Steph and I also like having people over for our weekly television show viewings, especially Castle and The Big Bang Theory (although I miss BBT every week because of HERmonic rehearsal.... oh well). 

Artsy Puyallup Fair ferris wheel shot...

Waiting in line for the ferris wheel!



Kelvin got a tatoo at the fair and it was a big deal.



Steph and our wonderful friend Katie in the midst of miniature ping pong.

They weren't great at it, but they were really good at laughing about it!

Just another family night... I may or may not have made the abstract sculptures featured on Kelvin's knees.

Junior year is proving to be a lot of work, especially in discovering the art of balance between classes/homework, practicing for classes, and scheduling/practicing for extra-curriculars.  This is the first time I haven't had/gotten a job on campus, but I have come to the realization that (at least for this semester) it is really a blessing in disguise.  I am only human, and there truly are only 24 hours in a day.  But somehow (between the support of my amazing friends and probably literally by the grace of God) I am not only surviving but, between test scores and  performance reviews, succeeding.  So far, this semester is showing me that I am on the right track - I'm glad I switched majors and I'm not looking back (oh snap, she can rhyme)!  Last night in particular, before going on in my final scene of Schicchi, I felt more strongly than ever that I want to make performing my career path, or as much a part of it as possible.  There is nothing more satisfying to me than helping create great music, whether in a choir, in front of a cast/band, or onstage singing my heart out.  :)  I'm so excited to see where these passions are going to take me!

"Babbo, pieta!" (Daddy, pleeeeeease?!) - end of the aria.  :)  *

Upcoming: 

• My first paid gig at a church in Tacoma (filling in for a soprano in a choir...)  Whee!
• First HERmonic/PLUtonic concert of the year for the PLU community
• Annual PLU Christmas concerts - solo in a featured piece... :)
• Singing in Vashon Opera's Hansel and Gretel in February

I have so much to look forward to and I'm happy being busy!  Hopefully I'll be able to get better at posting now that I have a bit more time on my hands... but we've heard that before now, haven't we?... haha.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

* - taken by the wonderful Stephanie Bivins.  :)

Last Days

I'm in my last days of summertime and I couldn't be happier!  haha.  I guess college helps change that tune.  :)
This week was my last one of work at KCDA (hopefully forever!) and my last full week before heading back to PLU.  I am so excited and so ready!  Not that being at home isn't nice or anything, but I miss all of my friends and being musical all of the time and having something academic to do.  Plus, Steph and I are living in an apartment on campus this year, so I'm excited for the adventures that lie ahead.
I still have a lot to do (mostly because I was working full time from 6:00AM to 2:30PM, which doesn't leave a lot of room to do much else with the day).  I am making lists like mad and stressing over music things like making sure my opera parts are memorized and that I have a song picked for choir auditions...
But this afternoon was spent in celebration of my last day of work.  After coincidentally getting off work an hour early, my mom and sister and I had a girls night!  We went and saw "The Help," had dinner at Panera Bread, and did a little shopping.  If you haven't seen the movie and read the novel "The Help" you NEED to!  It is hilarious and heartbreaking and just all around wonderful.  I have to admit I actually cried at this movie, guys.  That hardly ever happens (unless Snape dies...).  I would say that the book and movie are overall equals in terms of quality.  They are rather different in some aspects; each meets a need that perhaps the other does not address.  I don't really think it's fair to judge movies by their books anyway, as they are two different forms of storytelling/art.  (Unless it's Twilight... there was a preview for Twilight movie #4, Part 1 and I was mortified...)
After a fairly long week of waiting to be done, I have busy weekend and week ahead to look forward to!  Along with gathering college supplies, I have a wedding reception to attend tomorrow night, and of course Mass on Sunday evening.  :)
I move in on September 1st!  Woohoo - so much to do!  :D

Love&Harmony,
Erin

2??/365...

Dear Readers (however many of you there may or may not be...),

As you might already have guessed, my 365 project has rather quickly degenerated... it is a lot easier to keep up with when I am at a computer constantly - like at school!  I faithfully took pictures for the rest of June and July, but fell down a slippery slope in the last week or so with missing days completely.  This culminated in completely forgetting my camera for our trip to Ocean Shores this weekend!  :(  I used my sister's camera for a few shots on Saturday at the beach... that is, until her camera got dropped in the sand and now refuses to function properly (it's cheap and old, so perhaps a blessing in disguise).  As for the daily posting, well that died a sorry death with the trip to Europe.  *le sigh*
The whole point of my project (for me, at least) was to get me taking more pictures to document my time in school and to get me blogging at a fairly regular pace, which I would say has been mildly to rather successful, depending on the month.  :) 
I will still be posting and taking photos, and sometimes posting photos!  *gasp*  I will try to start another 365 sometime in the future, as I think it is a great project.  As to when this might be, I cannot say... but it will happen! 

Anyway, Ocean Shores!  It was a super fun 48-hour or so escape from the suburbs to the beach for the weekend.  Over the approximately 2 - 2.5 days, I saw a combined total of 8 deer!  That was the most unexpected thing.  Other than that, it was surf, sand, and a very sandy dog.  :)  Apparently my sister erased her memory card, so I will post pics from hers and my dad's cameras at a later edit. 

But yes!  Just so you know what I've been doing and that I'm not dead!  :)
I'll be back! (Read that with an Austrian accent... ;P)

Love&Harmony,
Erin