"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been."
~ Relient K.
Life is messy - human beings are messy.
I hold myself and the things I do to high standards (consciously and unconsciously) and I don't always make it there. The past couple of weeks have been one of those times. I do a lot of things in my life and though I enjoy it all, sometimes it gets overwhelming. I don't always let that stress and pressure off in positive ways... lately, I've let my negative emotions out in unkind ways on a lot of the people in my life that I hold close to my heart: my friends. A lot of the time, I didn't even realize it was happening. For that, I am truly and deeply sorry to anyone I may have, or have ever, hurt because of things I said or did or even through the attitude I might have given off.
If you know me at all, you know that my truest self is not that person. I want to be the friend that others can come to, depend on, trust, and feel happy and cared for when they are around me. I hope that that is who I am to you most of the time. But, I'm human, too. I screw up. I'm incredibly thankful for the moments and friends who hold up a mirror for me and remind me, "This isn't who you are." And I'm especially grateful when you forgive me for it. You don't have to, but you do anyway - that is the kind of love I always want to give back to you, too. I'm sorry, and thank you.
I think we're all in need of the break in the week ahead - I'm definitely in need of some time away, to be quiet, reflect, and rejuvenate. And I'll be looking forward to coming back and making the last part of this school year a great one with all of you - my wonderful, talented, and amazing friends. :)
Choose JOY over misery,
Choose KINDNESS over malice,
Choose COURAGE over fear,
Choose LOVE over hate.
So, joy, kindness, courage, and love to you all,
P.S. Just because it's a good song --
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (acoustic)
and this one because it's one of my favorite songs --
Up & Up
Friday, March 2, 2012
... it is too easy to forget how big the world is.