"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagnination, and life to everything." ~ Plato


Monday, July 30, 2012

30 Days - Day 30!

Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Dear Me,

I love that I look for the lightness and laughter in life as much as I can.  The ease of my smile feels wonderful.  That bubbly feeling of laughter that comes from within fills me with joy.
I love my determination to succeed in whatever I set my mind to.  I have the strength to get through the rough stuff because I know that my perseverance will pay off. 
I love my eyes.  I love my hair.  (My whole house is great... :P)  I love my smile.  I love my hands and my fingernails that took me so long to learn to grow out.  I love my waistline!  I love my slightly crooked bottom teeth that are just like my mom's.  I love my strong arms and legs. 
I love my passion for learning.  I want to devour all of the knowledge I can about so many things.  I love my ability to express myself through song.  I love that my singing comes from and fulfills something in the deepest part of my heart.
I love my faith.  I love my religion.  I love my church and the family I have there.
I love my parents, my sister, and my dog, and I love that we are such an "atypical" 21st century kind of family -- the kind that makes it a point to sit down to eat dinner together as often as we can, who makes time to work on projects together, watch movies together, go on trips together.  Most of all, we're a family that laughs together, oh so much. 
I love the environment I was raised in, the example that was set for me for when it's my time to fall in love and raise my own family.  I love that I know I will always, always, always be supported by my parents as I start my adult life out on my own.
I love my friends - old friends, new friends, best friends.  I love that my life is filled with people I can trust and depend on, because I know that I provide that for them as well. 
I love how much I care about other people.  Sometimes, in my heart, it can feel like too much, especially when others are so apt to let us down.  But I also love that I can forgive, as I am forgiven.
I love how much I love.  And I love how much I am loved.  And I love that I know and feel that love all around me - in my friends, family, and Christ.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Corinthians 13:1-13


  Though I command languages both human and angelic -- if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
  And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains -- if I am without love, I am nothing.
  Though I should give away to the poor all that I possess, and even give up my body to be burned -- if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.
  Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited,
it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances.
  Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth.
  It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
  Love never comes to an end. But if there are prophecies, they will be done away with; if tongues, they will fall silent; and if knowledge, it will be done away with.
  For we know only imperfectly, and we prophesy imperfectly;
but once perfection comes, all imperfect things will be done away with.
  When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, and see things as a child does, and think like a child; but now that I have become an adult, I have finished with all childish ways.
  Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be seeing face to face. Now I can know only imperfectly; but then I shall know just as fully as I am myself known.
  As it is, these remain: faith, hope and love, the three of them; and the greatest of them is love.


Love&Harmony,
Erin

Sunday, July 29, 2012

30 Days - Day 29

Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I really hope that I will find the ability to take control of my diet/exercise habits in a truly healthy way.  I use my busy life as an excuse, which I shouldn't... but it is somewhat valid.  Between all of the things I feel I need to do to not let others or myself down, I tend to push thinking about my health aside.  Not only does it bring up complicated feelings and self-esteem things, but it feels so stressful to even add one more thing to keep track of into my schedule (especially during the school year).  I can do better, I know I can.  I know, deep down, I do have that ability to change -- to take charge of really taking care of myself.  Furthermore, I really should.  As a singer, especially in professional shows, my body/voice are my representation of who I am whether that's in an audition or onstage.  Taking real care isn't just for me, it ultimately is for my career choice/passion as well. 

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Saturday, July 28, 2012

30 Days - Day 26, 27, & 28

Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I think it's a fairly common thing for most teenagers to think "I bet if I just died no one would even care.  I could just go away forever and leave all of this crap behind..."  I probably did at one point.  But I've never seriously considered anything like that.  Even when thoughts along those lines have crossed my mind, I know deep down that life is too good to pass up on.  I love living - I constantly dream of new experiences: travel, where I hope singing will take me, meeting the love of my life, taking my kids places, etc.  Life can get hard, but I know it's worth it.

Day 27 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

I'm not planning on letting this ever happen to me outside of marriage, but if it does... first off, I would keep the baby.  I would hope that the father would want to be a part of the child's/my life, especially through marriage, but if that's not the case, I have an amazingly supportive family and group of friends to fall back on.  If for some reason it would be impossible for me to have the child as my own, I would place it up for adoption, but only with thorough knowledge of the people who would call my child their own. 

Day 28 —What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Life?  I guess?  Kind of an odd question.  I love where I am -- my family, my friends, school, singing, and my dreams.  I mean, my summer job is less than desirable, but at least I have one.  I can't wait to go into senior year and conquer both that and hopefully my graduate school applications.  Getting through this year will most certainly be a feat for the ages!  I'll list out my schedule sometime... it's a little scary.  But life is good!!! :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow just two more days to go!!!  This went fast.  While I have skimped a little bit on the every day part, I think answering all of the questions relatively in time is the most important part! 
I'm off on a short trip this weekend -- excited to see some dear PLU friends!  :)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

30 Days - Day 25

Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

My faith/St. John the Baptist Catholic Church.  Hands down.
I'm not saying I wouldn't be alive today without going through middle and high school at St. John's as a part of their youth/teen programs, but I certainly wouldn't be the happy person I am today.  I found the love of God and the love of another entire family as a part of my experiences in church and youth group.  The things I learned and people I came to know through the programs, retreats, and adoration will stay with me for the rest of my life. 
"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?"  Ps. 27  <3

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

30 Days - Day 24

Day 24 — Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

To Stephanie,
Because I miss you and your crazy.

Rub Some Bacon On It - Rhett & Link
My Favorite Pillow - Rhett & Link
Das Beer Boot - vat19.com
Be My Escape - Relient K
Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer
Anything by Lonely Island...  :P
And anything you can impressively rap along with.  haha.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Monday, July 23, 2012

30 Days - Day 23

Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.

I really really really really really really wish I had kept up with my piano lessons.  Really really really.  Have I emphasized that enough?  I mean, I can plunk around and help myself out when need be, but I could be so much better. 
Dear Future Children:  You will never quit piano lessons.  (Unless you really, truly loathe them.)  :P

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Sunday, July 22, 2012

30 Days - Day 22

Day 22 — Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Every part of life - mistakes and all - adds up to where/who I am now.  I am happy and loved... there is nothing I can or want to change.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Saturday, July 21, 2012

30 Days - Day 21

Day 21 — (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Well, you see, the thing is I don't really get in fights with my best friend(s).  In fact, I don't think I've ever gotten into a real fight with any of my best friends ever. 
But, given the hypothetical scenario, I guess I'll play along...
I would immediately call their family/other friends to find out where they were being taken and head there.  If they were in another state, I would figure out a way to get there as soon as possible.  My loved ones are the most important thing in my life and I will go to whatever lengths are necessary to be there for them.  That's all there is to it!

Love&Harmony,
Erin

30 Days - Day 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20.....

Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Something I could live without?  Gossip, bickering, and general negativity surrounding assumptions about others -- both in myself and hearing about it from other people.  That seems to be the lesson from my summer job this year, balancing relationships and finding neutrality in petty conflicts. 

Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Hmmm... well, truth be told, I'm not the biggest Jane Austen fan on the planet.  I have a really hard time making it through her novels - I love the stories and characters, but sometimes the writing just comes off as quite tedious to me (the film versions are right up my alley, though).  But there was one I read a couple years ago that I devoured!  I surprised myself and vowed to give her another shot.  Of course, it's been a while since I've had much time to read anything... maybe it's time to pick up Sense and Sensibility from the library... :)

Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.

For as divided as faith communities are on this issue, I am in support of it.  I understand the whole "sanctity of marriage as laid down by the Bible" argument, but the fact of the matter is that marriage and who can marry is controlled by the state/government.  Anything that affects the lives of people in our nation that is decreed by government power should not be discriminatory in any fashion - that includes sexual orientation.  If the power to marry two people was still under the singular control of various religions, then those institutions would get to say who may and may not marry.  But that is not the country we live in.

Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I believe that faith and religion are two different things.  I believe in both and I declare myself a part of the Catholic religion, because it is through Catholicism that I found my faith.  I believe that different roads to faith are possible and there isn't one correct answer.  I believe that it is presumptuous of religions to declare to know all the ways and workings of God and to judge and condemn others for their beliefs and lifestyles.  I don't believe that there is one "right" religion -- I found what's right for me, but I cannot begin to fathom what might be "right" for someone else.  We all have our own path.  Despite not always supporting the decisions of my religion, I will proudly share it with others, because it is a part of who I am. It works for me.
As for politics... I hate them.

Day 20 — Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I don't do drugs.  Never will.  Especially anything involving smoke.  I'm a singer -- that's just a stupid, stupid way to ruin my dreams and passions. 
As for alcohol, consumed safely and in the presence of friends for a good time, I'm okay with it.  I never want to get out of control and I don't plan on it... a rather timely post considering my 21st birthday is Sunday!  :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, my views on some deeper issues.  I'm not seeking to debate these or anything.  Just my fundamental thoughts that have developed through most of high school and college.  Obviously I've still got a lot of time to go and my views may change over my lifetime.  But this is where I am now.

Sorry for the absence this week.  Work is taking a lot out of me in the afternoons!  I'll try to be better about posting daily or every couple of days.  But thank goodness for weekends where I can catch up on important things like this!  (These were just to catch up Monday through Friday... Day 21 will be a seperate post.)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Sunday, July 15, 2012

30 Days - Day 14 and 15

Day 14 — A hero that has let you down (letter).

Dear Hero,
I can't say I've met you yet -- because none of my "heroes" have ever let me down terribly.  No one comes to mind.  So it must be you.  All I can say is, I forgive you.  If I trust in you enough to put hope and faith into your part in my life, then it is in my heart of hearts to tell you that whatever it was is not as important as you knowing I still care about you as a friend, family member, lover, whatever you are to me.  I forgive you and I love you.

Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This is another one that's kind of a stumper for me.  I'm not really dependent on anything like coffee... I love tea, but it's not a daily thing for me.  I love my phone, but it's not necessary (weeks in the woods have proven that).  Not having a car would be pretty difficult, but I think I could manage.  I've never tried living without music and I don't think I could -- I'd just start singing songs to myself.  Maybe church?  I haven't purposely tried living without it, but I sometimes go for long stretches in between attending mass during the school year and that gets my spirit down after a while.  But I don't even know if I can count that as an answer... and that's my answer, I guess.  :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Had a really great weekend after a long, long, long first week of work back at KCDA.  I'm grateful for the job, and some of the people there are pretty fun, but it's SO hard to motivate myself to get up so darn early every single day.  Luckily, God gave us a day of rest, and we extended it to two.  :P  Saturday was spent on Mt. Rainier with the family and my sister's good friend.  Lots of beautiful photos!  And that evening I spent some quality time with my best friend hanging out at her house. 
Today I did a little shopping (got a skirt I've really been wanting... that's it for my personal spending until the paychecks start coming in!) and had a great time singing at church this evening.  The music was really on fire tonight... if I do say so myself.  haha. 
Now it's back to the grind.  Just 26 more days of work, 5 more weeks (Mon-Fri plus one extra Monday) total, 4 more weeks til the PLU opera workshop, and 7 days til I'm 21!!!  But who's counting?  haha.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Friday, July 13, 2012

30 Days - Day 13

This is the third Friday the 13th of the year so far... apparently the most that can ever happen in one year.  Random//slightly cool fact of the day.  As for today's truth, it was a close call between Superchick and Tyrone Wells, but only one could take the cake -- and that would be...

Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough-ass days (write a letter).

Dear Superchick,

You got me through middle school and most of high school in one piece.  Talk about tough-ass days!  Your fun, positive, and unapologetically Christian-based music might not have been the hit stuff on the radio, but you helped me develop my sense of self-esteem, confidence, desire to help others, and strength to stay true to myself through your lyrics.  From "Princes and Frogs" warning me about letting boys grow up before falling for them [that's solid advice right there, folks] to getting over the bad days by being the "One and Only" to challenging me to be a "Hero," you were with me growing up and will never leave my ipod.  :)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Thursday, July 12, 2012

30 Days - Day 11 & 12

...oops.  :P

Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
When I wear the right shirt, or have my makeup a certain way, I get a lot of compliments on my eyes.  They're blue - usually a greenish-blue, sometimes more grey.  But when they're really bright, they get a lot of attention.  :)  I also get "your hair is soooo soft!" a lot.  haha.

Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.

Hmm.  I guess I would say my work ethic?  I'm a fairly light-hearted, goofy person with my friends, but I take my work (whether for school or a job or whatever) pretty seriously.  I like to do a quality job with my projects, because the end result is a reflection on me - it's important!  My grades and whatnot do show recognition of it in a way, but people don't really say, "Wow, you work really hard!  Good job!" Not that I need to hear it, though.  It's more of an inward thing.  :)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

30 Days - Day 10

Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

After some thought, there are two people from when I was much younger that I wish I had never met - O and M.  In small, but significant, ways I think I would be better off having never known them. 

There are other people from my present life that come to mind for this question, but I'm of the belief that the people who touch our lives do so for a reason.  I have some people/crushes/etc. from even as far back as elementary school who I regret my feelings for or dealings with, but I know that those experiences also helped shape me as a person.  Even if I could erase knowing them, I don't think I would want to.  Possibly if I had the option of changing my choices in the past... but who knows how my future would turn out then? :)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Monday, July 9, 2012

30 Days - Day 8 & 9

Ack ack ack!  Already behind!  I cursed myself//I started work and have to go to bed super early and feel completely zonked when I get home in the afternoons... excuses excuses.  Whatever!  No pressure on me except my own.

Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like dirt.

I've never really had an enemy or bully or someone along those lines (maybe other than those times in elementary school from earlier in this challenge) who really made my life miserable for a long period of time.  I have experienced through-the-grapevine gossip/meanness in various shows though and let me tell you that is never fun and, for me personally, it creates a trust issue with the people I heard it coming from...
I can't throw stones, though, as I have totally participated in that kind of talk and attitude, too.  But I really do try my best to avoid it. 
Advice to anyone in any sort of performance/group with other people ever [or in a close-knitted academic setting/living environment]: anything you say, especially the negative stuff (even if it's in frustration and not actually meant to be mean-spirited), will get back to whomever you're talking about and anyone else that you wouldn't want to know what you said.  So it's better to follow that old stand-by -- unless you have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Really, most of my friends in high school.  I've truly kept up (making efforts to see/talk to each other), with about 4 out of all of the close or somewhat-close friends that I had through choir/AP classes and musicals.  Growing up is hard to do and the tough thing about graduating and going to different colleges is that, suddenly, you all start growing in different ways among different, new people -- it makes you change.  Usually (or, eventually) for the better, but in the process a lot of that high school version of you is either molded into someone else or possibly is completely abandoned for a "new you": the grown-up version.  I'm anticipating the same sort of changes with a lot of my college friends, too.  But now that we're prepared for it, if we're determined to not let each other drift, I think we can keep the seperation from being too significant.  After all, friends are the family you choose!  Hold 'em close!

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Saturday, July 7, 2012

30 Days - Day 7

Woohoo - one week in!  Here's to consistency, especially since I start working my full-time summer warehouse job again this Monday... whee.

Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Right now, it's probably my parents.  Their love and support for whatever I choose to do gets me through anything and I know they'll always be there for me.  On top of that, they've taught me all of the necessary behaviors and attitudes to have for a successful life! 
I'm a lucky girl to have gone through pretty much stress-free teen years with my parents.  Sure, we got on each other's nerves occasionally, but I've never been one for out-and-out fights with either my mom or dad.  And I'm sure that credit has got to go to them as well.  :)  I'm just hoping that someday soon I'll be able to start paying them back for everything they have blessed and provided me with.

This is the kind of answer that will change with time.  Hopefully someday I'll be able to answer "my spouse" and "my kids" to this!

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Friday, July 6, 2012

30 Days - Day 6

Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to bury one of my children.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Thursday, July 5, 2012

30 Days - Day 5

Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh man, I could go on and on with this one.  It's bulleted list time [in no particular order]!
  • Work as a professional opera singer 
  • Go to graduate school in a big city -- not in the PNW
  • Get married and have children
  • Write a novel... or two
  • Live and work abroad for a while
  • Fall in love
  • Be the voice of an animated character
  • Be a voice teacher
  • Get my doctorate and teach at the university level
I guess those would be the big ones.  Luckily, I have this feeling that I have years ahead of me, potential and drive within me, and the Lord guiding me.  I'm pursuing the kind of career/life that requires tenacity and resiliance -- but I have hope in a bright future.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

30 Days - Day 4

Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.

Whoops - a little late on the ball with this post today.  At least it's still the 4th!

I thought I would have an immediate answer for this post, in terms of having someone I haven't truly forgiven for something.  But after reflecting on even the strongest hurts I've recieved from people throughout my life, I don't feel some sort of gaping hole in my heart where I have yet to forgive them. 
My problem lies in the "forgetting" part of the whole thing.  I don't hold grudges in the sense that I will hate someone for the rest of my life -- I can forgive them and move past the issue with time.  However, I will probably always remember what they did, which leads to a whole trust issue. 
I've heard it argued that you haven't really forgiven someone until you forget as well.  I don't mean to hold onto those negative memories in order to have something bitter to recall, though.  I think I use them more for myself, as a way to remember how I felt when someone treated me a certain way and to help me not become a bad guy in similar situations.  Does that make any sense?

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

30 Days - Day 3

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I'm going to have to go back to childhood for this.  In my time, I was occasionally awfully mean.  I don't remember why exactly.  The grown-up in me now would probably label it as a reaction to insecurity, I suppose.  (Look at me, using my camp counselor knowledge! hah.)  This is something that could be said of children in general, especially girls... but I digress.
I specifically remember being quite snarky to a friend of mine which led to a whole incident with another not-friend of mine.  The girl who was my friend and I finally reached each other by the next recess, both cried together, said sorry and made up.  Many birthday sleepovers and whatnot were enjoyed between us until age (she was a year younger) and time made us drift apart.
But the incident with the not-friend became one on a long list that caused me agony up through sixth or maybe seventh grade.  Part of me wishes we could have just had it out with fists and moved on, but girl fights are never like that.  They're long, toxic, and seething until you (hopefully) realize how pointless it is.  I know we were both in the wrong at points and that's probably what makes it hard for me to forgive myself for it.  I spent hours throughout my K-12 years fretting over what I had done and what I could do to fix the problem between us.  I still think about it sometimes, but I have come to terms with the fact that some things are not fixable.  In spite of that, I still can't forgive myself for whatever it is I might have done to make her dislike me so much all those years ago.  Maybe if I knew what it was?  But I won't ever end up asking, seeing as we don't speak and haven't for years. 

Giving up?  Or gaining life perspective?

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Monday, July 2, 2012

30 Days - Day 2

Day 02 — Something you love about yourself.

I love my smile.  I love my smarts.  I love my hair.  I love my imagination.  I love my empathy.  I love my wit.  I love my terrible puns.  I love my laughter.  I love my calves. I love my waistline.  I love my curiosity.  I love my desire to learn.  I love how much I care about people, even when it ends up hurting.  I love my fingernails now that I've learned to let them grow.  I love my strength.  I love my spirit. 

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Sunday, July 1, 2012

30 Days - Day 1

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself.

Ouch, harsh way to start this whole thing off. 
If I was writing this several years ago, there would probably be plenty of things for me to list off about myself, especially about my body.  My self confidence in my teen years was [inwardly] shaky at best, as with most people, I'm sure.  Luckily, time, friends, faith, and love have helped change that.  I still struggle sometimes, but there is honestly nothing I hate about myself, physically or otherwise. 

I admit that there are things I still dislike -- for example, I wish I could be less conscious of my shape sometimes, which is certainly on the chubby side of curvy.  On the emotional side, I have a tendency to overthink the meaning behind the words/actions of others (I think a lot of us do this, though) which causes me more anxiety than anything else... lessons in learning to let things go and move on.
But, overall, there isn't anything I can say I hate about myself.  My years in high school and college have taught me to accept who I am, learn from myself and my successes/mistakes, and grow into someone better in the days and years to come.  I certainly have a long way to go and life to experience, but I'm lucky in that regard!

Love&Harmony,
Erin

30 Day Challenge

I got this challenge via my cousin Leanne's blog, which she completed over the month of May.  I admired her courage and determination to get through all of the "30 Days of Truth," some of which have pretty touchy subjects.
I decided to give it a shot too!  I was going to do it in June, but with 8 days of Girl Scout Camp at the end of the month (as a counselor, guys... not a camper...) I figured July would be a better choice for consistency's sake.

So... here goes nothing - 30 Days of Truth.
Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 — Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like dirt.
Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 — Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 — (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 — Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 — Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 28 —What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Love&Harmony,
Erin

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Two Quotes

"Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."  ~ Psalm 139:7-10 NIV

"We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade, the presence of God.  The world is crowded with Him.  He walks everywhere incognito.  And the incognito is not always hard to penetrate.  The real labour is to remember, to attend.  In fact, to come awake.  Still more to remain awake."  ~ C.S. Lewis

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Being Open - Reflecting

I'm a faith-filled person.  A religious person, to an extent.  But I'm not exactly a prayerful person -- it's never been a habit for me.  I do pray, but not regularly (except for at church, that is). 

In spite of it all, especially in my sort of falling away from constant faith in the past couple of years, I am still given answers when I ask.  That is the most amazing part to me, truly unconditional love.  I'm blessed this summer to be filling in as a singer in our LifeTeen band; worship music is what always brings back my connection to God and faith in His love.  It helps me trust and listen.  Reflecting and praying on something that has come up in my heart recently, I was given a quick and direct answer - "Be open." 

It was/is, of course, applicable to what I was asking about at the time.  But living with the thought for the past couple of days has made me realize that I can really apply it to everything in my life.  I like plans - knowing what's ahead and having control over the situation.  I have to constantly remind myself that the ultimate plan has been laid out - I'm in good hands! 

Jeremiah 29:11-13  "11 For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. 12 Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. 13 When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart."  (NRS)

If I keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to His love, what can I do but trust in the wondrous hope He provides?  :)
Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord - a favorite song of mine (what else to end a post like this?!)

Love&Harmony,
Erin

P.S.  St. Augustine says, "When one sings, one prays twice."  I suppose that has to count for something in all of this... :P

Friday, March 23, 2012

An Apology

"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been."
~ Relient K.


Life is messy - human beings are messy. 
I hold myself and the things I do to high standards (consciously and unconsciously) and I don't always make it there.  The past couple of weeks have been one of those times.  I do a lot of things in my life and though I enjoy it all, sometimes it gets overwhelming.  I don't always let that stress and pressure off in positive ways... lately, I've let my negative emotions out in unkind ways on a lot of the people in my life that I hold close to my heart: my friends.  A lot of the time, I didn't even realize it was happening.  For that, I am truly and deeply sorry to anyone I may have, or have ever, hurt because of things I said or did or even through the attitude I might have given off.

If you know me at all, you know that my truest self is not that person.  I want to be the friend that others can come to, depend on, trust, and feel happy and cared for when they are around me.  I hope that that is who I am to you most of the time.  But, I'm human, too.  I screw up.  I'm incredibly thankful for the moments and friends who hold up a mirror for me and remind me, "This isn't who you are."  And I'm especially grateful when you forgive me for it.  You don't have to, but you do anyway - that is the kind of love I always want to give back to you, too.  I'm sorry, and thank you.

I think we're all in need of the break in the week ahead - I'm definitely in need of some time away, to be quiet, reflect, and rejuvenate.  And I'll be looking forward to coming back and making the last part of this school year a great one with all of you - my wonderful, talented, and amazing friends.  :)

New mantra:
Choose JOY over misery,
Choose KINDNESS over malice,
Choose COURAGE over fear,
Choose LOVE over hate.

So, joy, kindness, courage, and love to you all,
<3 Erin

P.S. Just because it's a good song --
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (acoustic)
and this one because it's one of my favorite songs --
Up & Up
:)